Today I have the flu, or the remnants of the flu. I haven't slept, and I haven't unpacked from my "vacation" and all I've eaten is jello and soup.
I called in for an important meeting this morning and once again I feel useless. It's like I never had two weeks out of the office at all. No matter how hard I work or what I accomplish it's never good enough for this organization. They expect the IMPOSSIBLE and I just can't make it happen.
I need a change, a big one. FSU has been job searching and I've known that in his heart of hearts he really only wants to be in once place. Until we took this trip and had the all night drive back to talk about all the possibilities I wasn't sure where I wanted us to end up. Between that and this conference call, I know now that even if I have moments in which I love my job, it's still just a job and 9 times out of 10 it makes me feel stressed and unappreciated and exhausted. So, it's not important.
And I'm just so tired, and I can't sleep.