Monday, February 1, 2010

Pregnancy epidemic ?

There is an epidemic of pregnancy happening right under our noses.

First it was purse puppies, all the "hot" young "celebs" got tiny little creatures that barely qualified as dogs and carried them around in purses. Gross. Now it's babies. It's happening everywhere, our friends, our coworkers, acquaintances, our favorite celebrities, every woman I've ever seen in a public bathroom, you get the drift. Not nearly as gross as the rat-dog epidemic, in fact it's quite nice for the most part.

However, this morning as I ate my cereal still in a fog of sleep and hoped my large dose of Sudafed would kick in soon, CNN proceeded to tell me that I am right now at this very moment losing viable eggs! Oh MY! Yes, after spending 4 hours in hair and makeup and covering the obligatory Haiti stories of the morning, they described in brief but horrifying detail how once I hit 30 I am basically barren and useless to society, and how the ideal physical age to have children is 13.

Of course I may be leaving out a few key parts of the story, but pretend it's 8am on a Monday morning, you overslept as usual and you just stepped in a puddle of dog drool while carrying your shredded wheat from the kitchen through the doggie danger zone, into the living room. This is what my hazy and exhausted brain gleaned from the 3 minutes of ovaries, 13 years old, after 30, decline in percentage of viable eggs....

I just turned 26. This is just one of the many big glaring flags that have been waved in my face lately telling me that I have accomplished nothing, what in god's name have I been doing the past 10 years of my life! I went to grad school, I have a job related to my field of study, I moved to a new state, I have a great relationship with my boyfriend, we even live together, evident by the dirty socks scattered throughout the house. But that's just not good enough is it CNN ladies. I'm getting pretty sick of it, so sick in fact that I am taking a sick day.

Why is everyone so obsessed with having babies these days? Or is it that I just notice it more because my future in laws demand the appearance of grand children in the nearest possible future? I love those of you who are having children at the moment, well hopefully not at this very moment. But thank god for all my amazing girlfriends who are in the same boat as me, our turn for diaper genies and overpriced strollers will come, and I will go to all of your baby showers I promise, but for now let's enjoy being responsible for the bare minimum, like cleaning up dog drool, or men's socks.





2 comments:

CDM said...

As one of your pregnant friends, I say lets put some real news on, CNN. I'm sorry, but do we not have enough orphaned/undercared for kids in America that we need to continue to promote reproduction. Pretty sure increasing population numbers is not a problem Americans face.

When you're ready, you'll have babies and we'll all buy you your overpriced, state of the art everything. Until then, enjoy your lazy weekends and not having to clean endless baby clothes/spit-up/diapers/human waste. There is no right age and more and more people are waiting to have kids. If we all wanted kids at 13, we wouldn't have fought so hard for equal rights and the ability to get an education. You worked hard to be where you're at. You've got a good thing with Joe and DC and you most definitely should not feel bad for a lack of ring and/or baby no matter what anyone else says. Your degree, job, sanity, happiness are all proof that you have accomplished a lot.

Who cares what Joe's parents want?! I'm proud of you :)

Sorry for the rambling.

Angela said...

I completely understand. All of my friends are talking about having babies and they just got married. Then people start talking to me about it. I haven't even been married for a month and now people are talking about babies. Which I think is so totally funny because this time last yer everyone was asking me when I was going to get married. I don't think people will ever be satisfied.

But all the baby talk has to stop...they must chill. If you want to have a baby then have a baby but don't discredit everything else I've done in life because I don't have a baby.