Pregnancy epidemic ?

There is an epidemic of pregnancy happening right under our noses.

First it was purse puppies, all the "hot" young "celebs" got tiny little creatures that barely qualified as dogs and carried them around in purses. Gross. Now it's babies. It's happening everywhere, our friends, our coworkers, acquaintances, our favorite celebrities, every woman I've ever seen in a public bathroom, you get the drift. Not nearly as gross as the rat-dog epidemic, in fact it's quite nice for the most part.

However, this morning as I ate my cereal still in a fog of sleep and hoped my large dose of Sudafed would kick in soon, CNN proceeded to tell me that I am right now at this very moment losing viable eggs! Oh MY! Yes, after spending 4 hours in hair and makeup and covering the obligatory Haiti stories of the morning, they described in brief but horrifying detail how once I hit 30 I am basically barren and useless to society, and how the ideal physical age to have children is 13.

Of course I may be leaving out a few key parts of the story, but pretend it's 8am on a Monday morning, you overslept as usual and you just stepped in a puddle of dog drool while carrying your shredded wheat from the kitchen through the doggie danger zone, into the living room. This is what my hazy and exhausted brain gleaned from the 3 minutes of ovaries, 13 years old, after 30, decline in percentage of viable eggs....

I just turned 26. This is just one of the many big glaring flags that have been waved in my face lately telling me that I have accomplished nothing, what in god's name have I been doing the past 10 years of my life! I went to grad school, I have a job related to my field of study, I moved to a new state, I have a great relationship with my boyfriend, we even live together, evident by the dirty socks scattered throughout the house. But that's just not good enough is it CNN ladies. I'm getting pretty sick of it, so sick in fact that I am taking a sick day.

Why is everyone so obsessed with having babies these days? Or is it that I just notice it more because my future in laws demand the appearance of grand children in the nearest possible future? I love those of you who are having children at the moment, well hopefully not at this very moment. But thank god for all my amazing girlfriends who are in the same boat as me, our turn for diaper genies and overpriced strollers will come, and I will go to all of your baby showers I promise, but for now let's enjoy being responsible for the bare minimum, like cleaning up dog drool, or men's socks.