Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Swamp Ass!

I am so tired of censoring myself these days. I have had the most stressful, heinous and irritating few weeks and I just can't take one more day of smiling and being nice to everyone.

My living situation(s) the past month have been hell. One hairy Michael Garretson, whom you can read absolutely nothing interesting about at www.mikegarretson.com, made mine and Yatan's lives a living hell for two weeks, tried to get us to pay for his like 6 month late cable bill and then threw a fucking temper tantrum like an actual 4 year old when we refused. We also paid two thirds of the rent for July and had no functioning bathroom for two weeks out of the month. That stupid manager at The Blairs, otherwise known as the gates of apartment hell, Dana, she wouldn't even talk to us or allow any of the staff to talk to us. I'm still mad about not getting a single cent back for that. And I'm sure fuckface Mike got money back to top it off.

In addition, we all know I hate being hot. I hate it with a passion rivaling my hate for pro-lifers, anti-Semitics and people who actually believe there is racial equality in the US... Well I also hate not having my own space. Call me spoiled, but I have always had my own room, I never even shared a room in college (most of the dorms had single rooms). I don't like people touching my stuff without asking and I hate when people use something and don't take care of it. So living in someone else's house for two weeks is rough. Especially when even though I am paying rent, it's not like I am a roommate, it's like I am a guest overstaying their welcome, and especially when everyone else is comfortable at 80 degrees and I'm sweating my ass off. All you skinny minnies must just not have enough body fat to get hot or something.

It's also really hard not to unnecessarily share my opinion, or try to help by lending my hard earned advice. People don't want advice. In fact, I am one of those people that hates unsolicited advice, but it's like a compulsion, I can't stop myself. Plus I am always right of course. Aren't we all? I miss having my own room, my own closet, where everything has its place. I miss being able to turn the AC down whenever I want, I miss being able to take a bath, and I miss living somewhere where I feel like things are clean up to my standards. I do realize I have over the top expectations for cleanliness. We did Saturday work in my house growing up, you should see what I can accomplish with a can of comet and a sponge. It's impressive if I do say so myself.

I feel crotchety and irritable and fucking hot all the time. I am definitely the kind of person who likes everything a certain way, and thank god FSU likes everything the same way. We both hate when people leave the shower curtain open, wet bathroom floors, wet towels on furniture, un-rinsed dishes in the dishwasher, the dishwasher loaded incorrectly (yes there is a right way to do it), dirty dish rags/towels, glasses without coasters, the list could go on, and on. Can you see my problem? I am impossible to live with, and so is everyone else, except Joe. My sense of relief at moving in with Joe is overwhelming. I have been waiting for this, for a long time.

I have been waiting for him, for a long time. The right him. I have never been so thankful in all of my life to know someone. Someone who washes the dishes the right way, and pulls the shower curtain closed after they use it.

love and fucking kisses,


elaine said...

I am so excited for you! When you know, you know and I have a really good feeling about you and FSU (did I say that right?) - Baby G and I (and Nathan of course, although he's busy watching some godawful sports show) send you are best wishes and hugs/kisses from the west coast.



PS - I hate being hot too - more than you will ever know. One day, we'll kvell about it over tropical cocktails.

Elaine said...

I meant "our" Jesus. Sometimes Elaine drinks too much.


Clay Perry said...

great blog, i love it!

Z said...

thanks Elaine! you said it right also (FSU; who is a die hard Seminoles fan)

cocktails with umbrellas. and possibly a cabana boy to stare at.