Wednesday, February 6, 2008

still you are the only thing I feel

Taking a time out. This has been a hectic week already and its only Wed. but oh god I leave on Friday for New York and I still have so much to do. I have been looking forward to this for a long time, but right now all I can think about is that to do list on my desk.

I just want everything to be perfect and right and I'm not quite sure how to accomplish that. Between what to wear, and not having weather appropriate clothing, there is little time to contemplate what I will say. I need this weekend to be everything the past few months haven't been. I miss Kins and we desperately need to reconnect. I fear the loss of this important person in my life, which I don't think I could handle. Not to mention getting out of this town for a few days will hopefully renew my sense of desperation to get out, move on, reach some goals.

In between finishing all my assignments for this week and next, and laundry and packing, and driving home for a facial and a meeting and lunch with my family, I find myself a little desperate for air. I made it to pilates last night, and even though Roomie and I were both less than thrilled about being there, it felt good to do something and not think about all the built up stress for an hour. I forgot how much I liked it, going to the gym that is. That battle to get there in the first place is usually one I lose.

This 5 minute timeout was brought to you by Roomie, who is kindly bringing me lunch, since I haven't been to the grocery store in weeks, and the thought of going out to get something to eat feels very overwhelming. And by FSU, who talked me out of a horrible mood last night and put everything into perspective.
~Z

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