Thursday, December 6, 2007

you say your lookin for someone to pick you up each time you fall, go lightly from the edge

So happy. Revisiting this conversation Miss H. and I had on Sunday about just letting yourself be happy. We both have difficulty doing that and have these great situations going on. We've got to stop waiting for the other shoe to drop Miss H.! Maybe it really won't.

That is all.

~Z

EDIT: ok. I'm not letting this day get to me. I am determined to be in a good mood and not let anyone ruin it for me. and I decided I really want a Mac. This CD Other Roomie recommended with all the favorite remakes of movie scene songs is really good, it's keeping me in a relatively good mood.

I've decided to look forward to movie night with J.P. tonight. Why should I feel guilty about spending time with him? We are just friends and sometimes you just need to be around someone you are 1000% comfortable with. It takes a long long long time for me to not feel vulnerable with people and I'm just not giving it up no matter what.

This time around, I am determined not to lose myself. I always adapt and become whoever it is I think they want me to be. I don't want to be the kind of girl who doesn't know how she likes her eggs cooked. There is no other aspect of my life where I just blend, and this should be no different. Maybe its just experience but I know this has to be different. I have to be trusting if I expect to be trusted, and I have to be OK on my own if I expect to be able to have a good relationship. Rational is the thing, in a word. I struggle with rational.

~Z

1 comment:

Mandy said...

Miss H- love it...
And I am actively trying to not wait for the the other shoe to drop. Really trying.