Thursday, October 25, 2007

Is it possible for the world to look this way forever?

I applied for this really relevant and perfect job with the local NPR affiliate and I just got this lame card in the mail yada yada, we gave the job to someone else you didn't even get an interview.

Not as much as I want the TNC job though. There are all kinds of thoughts running through my mind about it, but bottom line is it would be a great opportunity and I couldn't pass it up if I got it. Mom just got done explaining to me how difficult it is to get into the organization to begin with. All said and done, it is wonderful to have family with such great connections. Let's see where they take me.

I've decided to hatch this little plan in my head. If I get the job then I am meant to stay here and figure these things out, and if I don't then I'm meant to go to D.C. as planned and whatever happens with my relationships/friendships here will have to speak for themselves. Most of the people I love don't live here anyway. And the ones I love here will follow me at least in spirit via emails, phone calls, and visits. I just found out that Yatan is moving to D.C. in the next couple of months with her organization and that is exciting. We've always had the kind of friendship you can pick up right where you left off without having to get reacquainted.

Grad school is going slowly while the week speeds by. I've accomplished little to nothing in the way of reading and studying not to mention the actual submission of assignments. There will be a good few hours spent in the library tonight, which I don't really mind. I do love the smell of old books and the sound of other people studying.

All this job application and grad school work will make my date with FSU tomorrow night that much more enjoyable, like a reward of sorts. Who by the way was super sweet yesterday when I was sick with some ungodly stomach ache that came from the pits of hell. What could have been a really uncomfortable situation, turned into a really great 3am wake-up in which I felt totally wanted and got all that I mentioned needing in my post yesterday. Not to mention the new postsecret book as a gift, which was just... so thoughtful. I have become the girl who can't talk about him without smiling. Roomie can tell, I know, and quickly rushes to my (and his) defense whenever the topic turns mocking. Thanks for that by the way.

Wasn't sure if this would be a G rated blog or not. I may change my mind after all, but Roomie and I had this split second conversation about virgins, er, rather experience, today in the car. I must say that at the ripe old age of 20-something, I appreciate not having to teach the man anything, honestly I feel like a novice and it's not intimidating. I'm not sure I can explain further without embarrassing myself. It's just different in connection sort of way that's all.

~Z

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