it can be beautiful

this is what my backyard looked like yesterday morning....

Pregnancy epidemic ?

There is an epidemic of pregnancy happening right under our noses.

First it was purse puppies, all the "hot" young "celebs" got tiny little creatures that barely qualified as dogs and carried them around in purses. Gross. Now it's babies. It's happening everywhere, our friends, our coworkers, acquaintances, our favorite celebrities, every woman I've ever seen in a public bathroom, you get the drift. Not nearly as gross as the rat-dog epidemic, in fact it's quite nice for the most part.

However, this morning as I ate my cereal still in a fog of sleep and hoped my large dose of Sudafed would kick in soon, CNN proceeded to tell me that I am right now at this very moment losing viable eggs! Oh MY! Yes, after spending 4 hours in hair and makeup and covering the obligatory Haiti stories of the morning, they described in brief but horrifying detail how once I hit 30 I am basically barren and useless to society, and how the ideal physical age to have children is 13.

Of course I may be leaving out a few key parts of the story, but pretend it's 8am on a Monday morning, you overslept as usual and you just stepped in a puddle of dog drool while carrying your shredded wheat from the kitchen through the doggie danger zone, into the living room. This is what my hazy and exhausted brain gleaned from the 3 minutes of ovaries, 13 years old, after 30, decline in percentage of viable eggs....

I just turned 26. This is just one of the many big glaring flags that have been waved in my face lately telling me that I have accomplished nothing, what in god's name have I been doing the past 10 years of my life! I went to grad school, I have a job related to my field of study, I moved to a new state, I have a great relationship with my boyfriend, we even live together, evident by the dirty socks scattered throughout the house. But that's just not good enough is it CNN ladies. I'm getting pretty sick of it, so sick in fact that I am taking a sick day.

Why is everyone so obsessed with having babies these days? Or is it that I just notice it more because my future in laws demand the appearance of grand children in the nearest possible future? I love those of you who are having children at the moment, well hopefully not at this very moment. But thank god for all my amazing girlfriends who are in the same boat as me, our turn for diaper genies and overpriced strollers will come, and I will go to all of your baby showers I promise, but for now let's enjoy being responsible for the bare minimum, like cleaning up dog drool, or men's socks.

snowed in with the cast of jersey shore

It has been snowing since before we woke up this morning, nonstop all day. The only time I left the house today was to shovel the snow off the front steps out of sheer boredom.

Things have reached an all new level of desperation at this point, we are now on the couch for the 18th time today, watching a rerun of the jersey shore reunion show. I'd like to take this opportunity to say that as a person of Italian American descent... I do not find this show offensive. In fact I think it's almost as funny as the people who get really offended over it.

That being said, do any of them have jobs? College? Life plans? Weird. The "situation" is driving a Range, that doesn't pay for itself. I've found myself genuinely curious. I'd also love to see them try to survive on my college campus, especially in the greek system. I'm not saying they are not attractive people, but things are just different in Florida, especially on college campuses. It's enough to give you a complex really.

Can you imagine these girls at sorority recruitment? That would be a good show.

You know you have a few good coworkers if:

1. they play "who are your top 5 celebrity freebies" with you in the afternoons when everyone is bored with their jobs and our bosses are out of town.

2. you can use the phrase "hot bitches" and none of them think you are being rude

3. there is always someone who wants to go out to lunch, instead of eating their veggie burger and falafel at their desk

4. at happy our you can play inappropriate games in which you decide which of your worst coworkers you would kill, which you would sleep with once, and which you would marry. I'd write the name out, but I am afraid BlogHer would be mad at me.

5. after each and every awful staff meeting you can huddle in an office with the door closed and vent about how everyone else is an idiot, and wonder aloud if you will have jobs in 6 months.

6. they let you give them ridiculous and unflattering nick names

7. they come to your birthday dinner

8. you don't mind bringing them coffee in the morning

9. you can't look at each other in meetings without laughing

10. they are one of the only reasons you haven't quit yet